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Thoughts for a lovely lady Mark Bradley from Forest Lake, California, our Mother's nephew who visited her from the USA with his Mother, Gwen, in the last days of our Mother's life, and whose love and support has been much appreciated by everyone here. Thank you Mark: Aileen was the “oldest sister” of Bill, Dickey, Carl, Basil, Felicia, Gwen and Hermine and the first daughter of Alice and Ferdinand (Nunny). What does one say about Aileen Lindsay, previously Aileen Clingham. In a nutshell, the best product to describe Aileen is Glue. Yes Glue. If you can imagine glue being stretched between ones fingers, the glue is Aileen. She kept her own family united and in many ways kept the whole family together. She would go out of her way to visit family and friends. She loved life, loved People and lived life to the fullest. She stuck the family together. She often helped the family, not only with her deeds, but often helped financially as well. Every one of my cousins growing up knew whom Aunty Aileen was. The obvious observation is that Aileen was one of a kind. She stood out and never blended in. Her laughter and naughtiness was unsurpassed. She truly loved life and lived it to the fullest, but most important of all she was a homemaker. She loved her home and her garden and her love for her children was totally unconditional. She was always on the go and she never had a lazy bone in her body. She was my
grandparent’s eldest daughter and a highly spirited individual she was.
There was never a dull moment being brought up in a home with Aileen.
As a child she was fun, positive, full of mischief, loved life and lived
it to the fullest. She adored her
siblings and looked after her little sisters as though they were her own. A few months ago when I
spoke to her when uncle Basil passed away, she reiterated that she loved him
unconditionally and that he loved her the same way.
It was that unconditional love that personified her own life. She
helped my mom and our family on numerous occasions.
She played a huge part in all of our lives and always welcomed us in her
home when we were growing up. She helped us, the Page family, and also the
Goldie family on occasions. There
are too many incidences to mention them all. However at one stage of
her life, even with all that laughter, love of life and helping others, there
was loneliness. I was privileged to be able to help her sell wall-to-wall
carpeting. I cleaned her pool twice
a week and would water her garden and paint for her and even used to take Chris
to boarding school on occasions. It
was during these times that I learned to know her quite well. She never ever felt sorry for herself. She always looked on the brighter side of life, even though
she was going through a hard time herself.
She took one day at a time and did what she needed to do to survive. She
left South Africa and immigrated to Cambridge, England, to start another life
with her family. She did this as
soon as she was confident that Greg, her eldest son, would not be returning to
South Africa. This decision was
made to keep her family together. That she accomplished with flying colours.
Greg eventually moved to the USA, but she continued to make the effort to
keep her family together. She spoke to her three children daily. I
started over and left South Africa four years ago and one would have to live
through a move like this to understand the trials and tribulations that go with
such a move. Only someone who has made this move can truly appreciate that it
takes everything out of you. There
were times where I felt that I had aged one hundred years in the process.
I did this with a wonderful wife who supported me always and she would
build me up when I felt really down in the dumps.
Aileen made this move with her family, but only with the support of her
children. My wife supported me totally whereas Aileen never had a
spouse to lean on. She was an
extremely brave lady. Her
positiveness kept her going. I
was delighted that she met and married Brian.
This was a long and overdue happiness, which she richly deserved. My mom and I were privileged to be in Cambridge England for her 75th birthday. I was initially so shocked to see her as weak as she was. She was truly the weakest and sickest that I have ever seen her. It was very evident that she was dying and that she would not be able to pull herself out of this one. The helplessness that one feels is quite overwhelming, and yet in her state of dying and in her deep degree of pain and sickness, she still had the strength to ask me, how Gloria and the children was. She asked my mom how Belinda and the rest of the family were and it dawned on me again what a special person she was. She truly had other people’s interest at heart. Her children were always at her bedside, taking turns to be there for 24 hours in a day. The testimony of love that she had showered on them for all the years now being returned. I could not help myself crying for her, while trying to read the get-well cards that Gloria had so beautifully written out for her. She squeezed my hand so tightly so as to reassure me that everything was OK and to thank me for bringing my mom. She could barely talk. The
most overwhelming feeling was when in her weakened state, on her birthday, she
put her arms around Karen and told her that she loved her very much.
It must have taken all of her strength to do that. She died peacefully in her sleep a few hours later.
The week before when I spoke to her she told me that Felicia, her sister,
who died three years ago, was with her all the time.
I told her that I was so glad to hear that, as I would not want her to be
alone. All
in all, aunty Aileen not only did a lot for me while growing up, but she also
helped mould me into the person that I am today.
I would not be the person that I am today without her influence.
Thank you Aunty Aileen. My
wife, Gloria and our children all talk of Aunty Aileen with total love and
sincerity. I am so grateful to have
had the privilege to have her and Brian spend a month with us in South Africa in
1999. She was always so grateful for the little things in life. My
children will always think of Aunty Aileen with love Gavin She showed us all love, was funny and full of laughter. Angela She kept me in stitches of laughter with her real life stories. Graeme She had character and we loved her very much. Leigh-Ann I loved the way she called Uncle Brian, Briany-boy. Aunty Aileen, thank you for being you. We love you and solute you. You lived your life to the fullest. All in all you were naughty, but nice. Rest
in peace my dear friend and aunt. I
have no doubt that we will see you again someday.
Earth will never be the same without you. Our loss is heaven’s gain. Love Mark, Gloria, Gavin, Angela, Graeme and Leigh-Ann * * * * * * |
